“As we observe children, we see the vitality of their spirit, the maximum effort put forth in all they do, the intuition, attention and focus they bring to all life’s events, and the sheer joy they experience in living.” –Maria Montessori
My goal for this series has been to showcase how Montessori is right for any family; at the heart of the Montessori pedagogy is the guiding principle: “follow the child.” If we trust in this directive, we will be at peace in our approach to how we educate our children and be better aware of how to assist their growth since the child dictates what is needed.
Easier said than done, I know!
My oldest daughter has a chromosomal disorder that meant we learned early on to adapt our parenting approach and environment to her unique needs. Montessori, because of its inherent inclusivity, has been pivotal in shaping how she learns and how we help guide her at home.
In creating this series I wanted to be sure to include what Montessori looks like for different families with different needs. Allow me to introduce Amanda of @Inclusionisthenewcool on Instagram. I love following her and daughter, Margot, as they work on language and motor skills with brilliant Montessori-inspired adaptations. While Margot isn’t homeschooled, I’m appreciative to have this inside look at what Montessori means to their family and how the philosophy guides them.
Please introduce yourself, how many children you have, any background information or social media you’d like to share:
I’m Amanda, and I have one daughter, Margot. We live in New Hampshire, USA in a small town near the seacoast about an hour from Boston. You can find us @inclusionisthenewcool on Instagram where we post our inchstones, milestones, and occasionally plant photos. Margot has a chromosomal change which has resulted in significant language and motor development delays.
Do you homeschool your children? If not how does Montessori fit into your home environment and routine?
We do not homeschool and Margot attends the local elementary school in one of their four Kindergarten classrooms. She started in the partial-day Preschool there when she was three years old. Margot has considerable special needs and so required Early Intervention from birth and then transitioned to the Preschool with an IEP process. Montessori has guided and influenced her home life from about 3 months old and heavily influenced her IEP and school experience to the extent we were able to weave concepts into the typical school curriculum. I’m always impressed when I see something already being done that would align, and I have found teachers receptive to many core principles.
“Help me do it myself” has been the guiding mantra for Margot, and family and teachers alike have worked very hard to improve our observation and wait time skills to provide Margot the space she needs to learn. We’ve also had to all become very adept at breaking tasks down into smaller pieces than we ever would have imagined, and it’s been fascinating to learn just how many steps and stages go into the mastery of one task.
What drew you to Montessori?
The first “toy” we bought Margot was a mobile with bright colors and lots of kinetic energy. Margot loved to watch it spin and “jangle” (it was wooden and consisted of many small pieces all attached by different cords so that it wobbled when we spun it and completely danced and bounced when struck). Her fascination led me to research how mobiles could assist in infant development, and I re-discovered Montessori. I myself had attended a Montessori daycare and so was familiar with the name and had positive associations with it already. So I tore down a rabbit hole learning about the infant environment: the floor bed, low hung art, natural and minimalistic materials, and the emphasis on observation.
Through observation, I quickly discovered that many “toys” we had for Margot were quite passive and not meeting her core drives, and eventually saw that many choices she would naturally make to explore would be somehow considered “off limits” or “dangerous” by traditionalists. So we focused her on fewer materials that really met her needs (like a wooden skwish ball), and let her play with things in ways they may not have been intended for (like grabbing the mobile on her swing to make it ch-ch-ch-ch against the motor for the tactile and auditory feedback she got, or letting her roll off her 6 inch floor mattress onto the carpeted floor to learn where the edges were).
Over time this observation and trust in her motives led us to things like being comfortable assisting her in climbing hands first down off the sofa until she was strong enough to bear her own weight through her arms, which many therapists have tried to do on yoga balls without any interest or cooperation from Margot and which she absolutely needed for crawling; or letting her play with the kitchen drawers which taught her about depth perception and how to modulate the strength of her pull and push so as not so get bumped by the drawer.
Beautiful observations. 🙂
Do you have any dedicated Montessori spaces? Why or why not?
We have definitely taken the concept of the engineered environment to heart, and have made all of our living spaces not only safe for Margot to fully explore and interact with but also have added materials specifically for Margot to happen upon. We made a custom busy board that features a see-and-say for her to pull and we actually bolted it to the wall so she could enjoy pulling as hard as she can. We switch the direction of it every so often so that she practices both arms and different grip positions, too. We also gave over the bottom two drawers in the kitchen to safe objects for her and have changed them as we observed what she was seeking, namely heavier objects to try to grasp and lift out of the drawer without dropping them on herself. We had foam steps up against the sofa so she could climb up before she was big/strong enough to do it straight from the floor. We have a magnet board with her special alphabet and sight words right at eye level for her to show us she’s interested in interacting with. And we have traditional Montessori cube shelves in her room where she can choose materials and books at her leisure. The whole house is a commingled space of adult needs and Montessori-inspired adaptations to make it work for the whole family.
Has Montessori helped you grow as a parent?
Absolutely. The most important things Montessori gave us were dedication to consistency, sharp observation skills, the openness to see the productive behavior entwined in many suspect actions, and the knowledge to limit variables and to choose activities with built-in consequences.
Margot has learned the few sign language gestures she does have because we have exhaustingly reinforced them at every meal, through every screech and every time it would have been easier just to quit. She is learning her first sight words because we noticed she preferred real photos of people she knows to any illustrated children’s books and have made her dozens of family and friends books, including many of herself, which we can now label with names in her special alphabet. And she can put a spoon down on the table in a targeted location because we first spent years practicing putting a wooden ball into an object permanence box which had its own satisfaction and success built-in rather than relying on “Good job!” or any other external motivation (or correction). We are so grateful for these frames of mind that helped us see Margot’s world in a calm, clear, consistent and productive way so that we can identify when she’s naturally trying to work on something and try to provide an opportunity to fit that desire and help her grow in it.
I absolutely love how you phrased that, “the openness to see the productive behavior entwined in many suspect actions.” I think so often as parents we have preconceived ideas of what “correct” skill development looks like in a child and we miss the proprioceptive input the child craves. Perfectly stated.
Thank you so much Amanda!
Be sure to check out the previous interviews in our Montessori Homeschooling Series here — and stay tuned — we have at least a couple more scheduled.
